Martini Groove

Jägermeister's got the hook-up for toting all those cumbersome bottles of Jägermeister around. Buy six bottles of Jäger and you get this sweeeeeet cooler that holds those babies and has the Jäger Tap Machine Technology built right in. It even comes loaded with Jäger shot cups! This is the stuff that DRIVES Girls Gone Wild [sic]! Hey, if you're going to get alcohol poisoning, you might as well go with Jäger, you're going to hate it later anyway and this will just make the transition easier. Six bottles of Jäger run about US$120.

I <3 Camper!  Check it out.

Absolut's been busy over the last month.  The next city flavor up?  Boston!  Of course, it's green tea flavored (because Baked Beans would have been just weird) and it throws in a hint of Elderflower (Yup, just like St. Germain).  I've been drinking a bit of the bottle over the past few weeks and it's absolutely gorgeous, even though the flavors don't seem like they'd fit, it's a nice concoction.  A full review is to come. Absolut Naked is a bottle without much on it.  It has no label and it's out there as a statement against labels.  The bottle's "stark naked" and it's about going against prejudice and stereotypes.  Look for it in your favorite Duty-Free store.  Finally, there's Absolut Rock.  It's in celebration of Woodstock all-those-years-ago.  You know, the concert with crappy sanitation, STD's, and a bunch of people who wish they could bring it all back again.  Absolut Rock looks more like a bottle doing a bit of...

Disney's had their fair share of alcohol attractions in their Downtown Disney areas but now they're doing the exact right thing for the average park goer:  They're opening up a tequila bar inside of Epcot Center. La Cava del Tequila is going to offer up 70+ types of tequila and small plates to help you try to not get absolutely hammered as you go sipping through the menu.  They'll even have a "Tequila Ambassador" on hand to teach you about tequila.  For an extra Fiver he'll pour some tequila straight in your mouth, blow a whistle, and shake the hell out of your head.  Just don't blame him when you wake up next to a co-ed who's singing "I'm Like A Bird" and crying about how you passed out. Check it out in Epcot Center starting August 28.

Update!: Three-O vodka did NOT include Kiefer on their list. They sent me the original press release and it looks like the Winnipeg Sun added Kiefer on their own. This is awesome. Hey, Three-O , I know you want to tell us about what Kiefer Sutherland drinks and make sure that you put "Three-O" in the vodka parts, but a guy who just got busted for headbutting a FASHION DESIGNER and has a history of DUI may not be the exact right image. Seriously though, who headbutts a fashion designer??? Like fashion designers are super aggressive and Kiefer couldn't help but CRUSH HIS SKULL!! Let's NOT celebrate the guy just because he saves the world every year in one day. I'll let the Paris Hilton one slide because she's insane.

Second Hottest Girl Ever (Right Now)! This is her drink: First Class Punch Ingredients: 1 and one-quarter ounces of Vodka, 1 ounce of Domaine Canton , 1/2 ounce of agave nectar, 1/2 ounce of fresh lime juice, 1 strawberry, 4 basil leaves. Directions: In a mixing tin, muddle the strawberry, basil, and Agave nectar. Add the rest of the ingredients, shake very well with ice and strain into a glass. Garnish with a strawberry.

The same guy that brought you a way to tell penis size simply by putting on a condom is bringing you an indicator that tells you if your alcohol is the real thing or not:  Rotgutonix. Okay, not a huge problem for us in the U.S., but there are myriad stories in Europe of people making designer imposters using very low-quality grain alcohols.  At best, this stuff will make you sick, at worst it'll cause blindness and death OR WORSE!  This little gadget is in concept phase but can  test if you have the real Johnny Walker, JB, DYC, Pampero, Brugal and Havana.  More alcohols are to come and it will cover mostly the clear ones and some whisk(e)ys.   Rotgutonix