The Onion has a shirt for all the raucous drinkers that regularly read my site. The text says: I'm like a chocoholic, but for booze US$16.99 at The Onion Store
I posted about the T-Qualizer shirt quite a while ago , I guess Ellen reads my blog. But here's a video of the shirt which I could totally see myself wearing in certain situations. Like when I want everyone to think I'm a candy raver. Product Page