The Quest Begins
I've searched far and near for flavored alcohols that don't instantly make my testes pack their bags and move to Indiana in protest of my masculinity, so I was rather skeptical when the bottle of UV Lemonade Vodka arrived. The box cheered when I opened it and pink, frilly things came out at me and there was a plastic pink flamingo inserted with it.
Ah! A challenge is it? The pink flamingo glared at me with a knowing look that said "Are you man enough to drink something this pink?" I began to sweat as I lifted the bottle out of the box wondering that if I would somehow start getting PMS by just touching something so damned pink. I think I saw the pink flamingo smile as it watched me hesitate.
Donning rubber gloves and cutting up my shower curtain to make a crude hazmat suit, I carefully opened the bottle as if it were a vial of my grandmother's perfume. I knew I would have to try this in my usual two ways. Straight-up and in a drink. Caution was of the utmost importance. I called several friends and let them know what I was doing, just in case they started getting phone calls from me "just to talk" and thank you notes with flowers on them. I wanted them to tell the world my story in case I wasn't going to be able to. The pink flamingo laughed.
I want my love straight up
As I poured it, it seemed a little thick. The pink flamingo looked at me and smiled, thinking I was going to chicken out. I'll show you, pink flamingo. I tasted it and got the syrupy, sweet taste of it. I knew this was going to be a better mixer than a martini, but I had to be sure. This is no martini, but the pink flamingo stared on. I had to keep going. No pink flamingo was going to be the boss of me.
Mix it up
The package came with a recipe in it. It was called, The Pink Flamingo. "I will not drink you Pink Flamingo!" I cried. But the pink flamingo didn't even take offense, like it had heard this a thousand times before and it just knew better. The recipe for the drink is:
- 2 parts UV Lemonade Vodka
- 1 part cranberry juice
- splash of triple sec
I used a little more than a splash of triple sec, but the drink went down perfectly. It definitely gave me the feeling of a new kind of Cosmopolitan, but with a Florida spin. It was a great drink for a hot summer day or a warm night out and it has now turned in to one of my favorite mixed drinks (though I garnish with a lime now, for contrast).
The Pink Flamingo Knows All
I came away with a great drink from a great bottle of flavored vodka. More importantly, I found that I was secure enough in my manhood to drink something pink. Though I didn't get to drink too much more of it as I had a sudden urge to buy lots of decorative pillows.
The pink flamingo took care of me. Thusly he stands guard in my garden now. Waiting to teach another...
UV Lemonade Vodka - US$10