Review: UV Lemonade Vodka

The Quest Begins
I've searched far and near for flavored alcohols that don't instantly make my testes pack their bags and move to Indiana in protest of my masculinity, so I was rather skeptical when the bottle of UV Lemonade Vodka arrived. The box cheered when I opened it and pink, frilly things came out at me and there was a plastic pink flamingo inserted with it.

Ah! A challenge is it? The pink flamingo glared at me with a knowing look that said "Are you man enough to drink something this pink?" I began to sweat as I lifted the bottle out of the box wondering that if I would somehow start getting PMS by just touching something so damned pink. I think I saw the pink flamingo smile as it watched me hesitate.

The Pour
Donning rubber gloves and cutting up my shower curtain to make a crude hazmat suit, I carefully opened the bottle as if it were a vial of my grandmother's perfume. I knew I would have to try this in my usual two ways. Straight-up and in a drink. Caution was of the utmost importance. I called several friends and let them know what I was doing, just in case they started getting phone calls from me "just to talk" and thank you notes with flowers on them. I wanted them to tell the world my story in case I wasn't going to be able to. The pink flamingo laughed.

I want my love straight up
As I poured it, it seemed a little thick. The pink flamingo looked at me and smiled, thinking I was going to chicken out. I'll show you, pink flamingo. I tasted it and got the syrupy, sweet taste of it. I knew this was going to be a better mixer than a martini, but I had to be sure. This is no martini, but the pink flamingo stared on. I had to keep going. No pink flamingo was going to be the boss of me.

Mix it up
The package came with a recipe in it. It was called, The Pink Flamingo. "I will not drink you Pink Flamingo!" I cried. But the pink flamingo didn't even take offense, like it had heard this a thousand times before and it just knew better. The recipe for the drink is:
  • 2 parts UV Lemonade Vodka
  • 1 part cranberry juice
  • splash of triple sec
Pour them in to a shaker with ice, shake, and put it in your martini glass. Garnish with plankton to give your plumage a nice pink color (optional).

I used a little more than a splash of triple sec, but the drink went down perfectly. It definitely gave me the feeling of a new kind of Cosmopolitan, but with a Florida spin. It was a great drink for a hot summer day or a warm night out and it has now turned in to one of my favorite mixed drinks (though I garnish with a lime now, for contrast).

The Pink Flamingo Knows All
I came away with a great drink from a great bottle of flavored vodka. More importantly, I found that I was secure enough in my manhood to drink something pink. Though I didn't get to drink too much more of it as I had a sudden urge to buy lots of decorative pillows.

The pink flamingo took care of me. Thusly he stands guard in my garden now. Waiting to teach another...

UV Lemonade Vodka
- US$10


Huh. We had different takes on this one. And, I liked the filly things.

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