Martini Groove

Suddently the "Absolut World" ads aren't as clever. Here's the latest:

Dr. Bamboo likes to sex you in the sexy places that you like to have sex. He also created this logo for me. I told him "Make me a logo that's like my women: Simple, clean, and easy to understand." He did exactly that, then he added an olive. Thanks Dr. Bamboo!

You want to look good when you go out and order wine don't you? But seriously, only wine nerds of the highest caliber can match a wine to the entire Value Menu at Wendy's. You either have to access the Internet on your phone (awkward), carry a huge book with you (what?), or rely on the wine nerd at the restaurant to steer you straight (loser). eWineMatch has your big bro hug right here. Text the key ingredient of your meal, or the cuisine, to 411 511 and it will come back with 3 bottles that match up to the food. Most of the bottles are under $20 at a store, which means over $100 at a restaurant, so you probably won't have to go far to find the fit. Now if you could just find a texting service that'll match a tie to that hideous shirt you have on. eWineMatch.com

New sites about alcohol aren't popping up like they used to, but there are some that are still coming up that are worth taking a look at. While others just stop posting, these sites can help keep the gravy train runnin' and your appetite whet. - Despite the fact that the authors still call themselves "Mixologists," Talk Drinks has some solid posting so far, though they're lacking in consistency at the moment. - Natalie over at The Liquid Muse has it all together and keeps the info coming. She's also extremely hot, so it doesn't really matter what she says, you'll like it because we do whatever beautiful people tell us to do. She also has 5 monthly columns yet seems to make sure that she gets posts on her blog everyday. Can anyone say "overacheiver?" Also, did I mention she was hot? - If your sign had a specific drink associated with it, what would it be? Intoxicated Zodiac says that Leo's would be a creamsicle drink, which doesn...

Sure, anyone could come up with 10 crappy cocktails, but it takes a real genius and someone who's actually trying to make a GOOD cocktail to come up with 10 cocktails that suck this bad. Fancy a Salmon Colada? Or how about a VIP Sangria (Just use a vintage wine and Fanta). Hey, it's stuff like this that reminds us why we sometimes ask for a simple vodka martini. Craptails Toast to Drink of the Week 2.0

Summer grabbed me by the buttocks and threw me through the empty swimming pool and left me to die in the heat of its sun. Also, I was in Vegas. "That's no excuse to not post," you say! But if you've been keeping up with my Twitter (and seriously, it's compelling stuff), then you're getting plenty of drink-on-drink action headed your way. RSS is soooooo 10 minutes ago. However, some new posts (and site features) coming soon. AND STOP CALLING IT MARTINI LOUNGE I NEVER LIKED THAT NAME! Sincerely, Martini Groove (.com)

If you've been following my Twitter updates, then you're getting the latest on this blog. Many posts soon to come, but use Twitter for your fix.

Zyr sent me a tiny bottle of their vodka. So they get a tiny review: It did not taste like poop at all.

Smirnoff is launching flavored drinks that emulate the ones that you'd get at a bar that a bit harder to make. Their Grand Cosmopolitan and Mojito vodkas actually include the other alcohols that make the drink, unlike the mixers out there that have flavorings that are close approximations. The Grand Cosmo uses Grand Marnier and the Mojito has the lime and mint flavors built in, though it doesn't say anything about tonic, so maybe you add that yourself. I like that there are full alcohol versions of these out there because the mixers that don't have any alcohol in them pretty much always suck when compared to the real thing. Both products will be available in 750mL and 1.75L bottles, retailing for approximately $12.99 and $19.99 respectively (suggested retail price). Smirnoff

Martini is redesigning all of their vermouth bottles to "bring them up to date" and they're also launching some new flavors to go along with it. The problem Martini has is that people who drink martini's on average drink 1 to 4 a month. The amount of vermouth in a martini is rather minimal, so a bottle lasts for quite some time. The company needs to figure out how to get people to drink more of their product. Martini Rosato is one of the ways they hope to do this. Pink in colour, Martini Rosato has a subtle aroma of cloves and cinnamon and a taste of cloves with a gentle sweet and spicy finish. They recommend it to be served long over ice and topped with pomegranate juice, but can also be enjoyed straight up or on the rocks. I'm sure drinking it on the rocks is a nice thought, but I don't see that happening, though I do like the pomegranate idea. Martini Rosato is already available for US$11.00 at most retail outlets.

I've become more and more of a fan of Cognac of late and have had an encounter or two with JC (Jacques Cardin) VSOP Cognac though I haven't had a chance to try it. They're rolling out their product nationwide now and not only do they have their standard Cognac, but they are also launching two flavored Cognacs, Jasmine and Apple. Created in Cognac, France, JC is made with a selection of Ugni-Blanc grapes chosen with special attention paid to the soil of the vineyards. A combination of these grapes adds complexity to JC. As JC is a VSOP (Very Special Old Pale), it is created with a blend of cognacs, each aged at least four years. This special blend, developed by the cellar master, is then aged in small French oak casks. It spends its life in contact with wood, developing aromas of wood tannins. The 750ml sells for US$34.99 and you should see them on most store shelves by August.

Sometimes things happen on the Internet that create revolutionary paradigms. They transcend the current culture and make giant leaps forward. Yahoo! did it with their search engine, Amazon.com did it with shopping, eBay did it with auctions. Now, there's Bikini Cocktail. Naked News has been giving us stripping girls telling us the news for years, now Bikini Cocktail teaches you how to make drinks using two pretty hot girls. There are two versions of each drink that you can watch. One is free and shows the girls making the drink in a bikini or lingerie. The other is part of their subscription plan, of which they have three tiers, allows you to view a "nude" version. Though this version is really just topless, so don't kill your porn site subscriptions just yet. Plans start at US$9.95 but you can get a 3-day trial for $2.99, which seems like more than enough for the amount of content they have right now. The girls seem fun and though the nude version is usually ju...

Homemakers.com (Hey, I read it for the pictures of the naked women) has 7 tips for hosting your own whiskey tasting, because nothing says "Homemaker" like making sure all the whiskey's you taste are at 15 degrees Celsius. The 7 tips are handy ones though and include stuff like do the tasting before dinner, use little tulip style goblets as glasses, and don't add ice (though you can add water). Page 2 of the article goes on to tell you how to taste whiskey properly so you can look like a real pro. You'll never be Kevin Erskine , but you can at least have almost as much game as him. 7 whiskey-tasting tips

The Dutch's brilliance is well-known. Not only do they have the Red Light District, but they're known for inventing the pendulum clock, finding Saturn's rings, creating the basis for International Law and...powdered alcohol. A group of students in Amsterdam have invented an alcopop sort of drink that comes in powdered form. Just empty the packet in to a glass and you get a lemon-lime confection that is 3% alcohol. Technically this low amount of alcohol volume can be sold to 16 and over in the EU and has tax advantages because you're not shipping alcohol, so you can get around those charges. If Spykes can't make it here, I'm hoping that this stuff doesn't get far either. The students are pretty blatant that they're trying to market it to the underage crowd, but that's one drink that we don't really need here. Just add water - Students invent alcohol powder

I want you to hit me as hard as you can. I received UV Vodka in the same box as the Phillips Union Vanilla Whiskey . My experience with that whiskey wasn't the best so I went in to the UV vodka tasting with some trepidation. That was a bad idea. I am Jack's smirking revenge. The nine flavors that UV offers are all well and good and anyone can make a decent flavored vodka, but UV's simple bottle belies a much greater truth: A vodka you can sip by itself is very hard to find. The things you own end up owning you. I went straight for a vodka martini, up, with a twist. That is to say I just wanted a huge fucking shot of the stuff and pretend I was flavoring it with an imaginary squeeze of a lemon. I smelled it and found the hint of citrus that was already in there and it didn't make me pull back at all with the smell of the alcohol. It was a nice, rounded, smooth smell and it gave me a pleasure that I usually leave for a good gin. Go ahead, Cornelius, you can cry. One...

On demand wine info is a very serious need in my opinion. Sure, we can read an article as we're going through our day that we try to store in some permanent place in our brain, but what about an online visual encyclopedia that we can access anytime in order to really learn the stuff? The Winery Channel .tv allows us all to access the information at any time. The site covers all kinds of great topics beyond the usual of pairings and winery specific reviews. It also has videos like what comics say about wine, lodging in wine country, and even a wine drinking cowboy's musings on the stuff. Definitely one of the best ideas that have come out lately about wine and worth checking out. The Winery Channel .tv via Slashfood

I was at the store today and it was inundated with watermelons for the low, low price of buy one, get one free. Watermelon is everywhere and it's hard to beat as a refreshment fruit for the hot days as they get longer. The Watermelon Martini is the epitome of coolness as it uses a nice, cold citrus vodka and fresh watermelon juice. 1/2 oz fresh lime juice 1 oz citrus vodka 1 1/2 oz fresh watermelon juice 1 cucumber slice for garnish The gorgeous red color makes it an eye catcher too. Happy Summering! Watermelon Martini

Google Trends allows you to pull-up information on keywords and varietals for wine with their new Google Trends search engine. Put in a varietal for your search term and it will come back with info such as what cities are searching for it most, what regions, what language, and even the search volume. It also gives you some key stories related to the term. Neat infoporn. Google Trends

Pravda Vodka is offering up a free mini-bar size of their vodka for you to try. Put in your name and address and they'll send you a certificate for the bottle. Free Pravda Vodka Mini

Yup, I'm a sucker for a cool product and Twitter is it. You can read it on the homepage at Martini Groove or subscribe to the RSS feed for it from the Twitter page.

I've actually considered the thought of California seceding from The Union many times. We even have a small town that did it once for three months. We're the world's 5th largest economy and the richest state in the richest country in the world. Of course, we really love the 4th of July here and if we seceded that would get a bit awkward. However, California's wine industry has decided to declare sovereignty in the wine world. CA is pretty much the only state that has award-winning wines in almost every varietal and now the citizens have a "right to bear vines." The new website, onenationundervines.com , is where wine lovers can view the full 'Declaration of Independence'. A Toast to California - One Nation Under Vines