Martini Groove

It seems that the rest of the world is doing a great job at what America used to do well.  Like manufacturing, free market economies, and the ability to discern between real entertainment and a bulemic pie eating contest. Well, I say we take those jobs back that we lost to NAFTA!  Let's do something that some other country does better!  How about electronics!?  How about automobiles!?  How about Tequila?? I like your thinkin'. Tequila 5150 comes straight to you from Hollister, CA.  No, not the clothing stores that smell like "Teen Spirit" and think that you're fat, but a town just outside of Gilroy, CA .  The owner of a popular winery in the area has planted 10 acres of Agave, the plant used for tequila.  Okay, everyone probably already knows that it's the plant used for tequila. I'm sure lawsuits are on their way as, like Scotch or Champagne, only tequila made in the state of Jalisco in Mexico can actually be called "tequila" according to a 2006...

I may have made up a cocktail on my very own.  Though I am delving in to the exclusive world of genius like Neyah White or Camper English I make no such pretense as to being in the same class as them.  Though I do have a much nicer ass than them.  Wait...What? BACK TO ACTION! I found a use for the god awful Three Olives Root Beer vodka that the ladies really seem to like and the grocery stores are trying to sell it for US$7.95 a bottle. Rootbeer Float Some Cafe Boheme Some Root Beer Vodka Mix with ice in shaker and pour in to martini glass...or maybe a big plastic cup.  Whatever you got.  It might be nice if you garnished the glass with some chocolate shavings or syrup or something.  Yeah!  I made a recipe!  Please send any financial residuals to me via PayPal.  P.S. The Cafe Boheme is damned yummy so that makes up for some of the Root Beer Vodka.

Long Island has been pushing out some wines that people seem to be liking as an attempt to get mindshare away from their 800 calorie Long Island Iced Tea.  LiV Vodka (rhymes with "five") is here to save the day.  Long before vines were planted on Long Island there were potatoes.  These potatoes have finally found purpose in this vodka that uses 9000 pounds of spuds for a single batch, that's 15 pounds per bottle!  It's then mixed with water from a glacial aquifer and put in to bottles that are shipped in pine cases.  Collect them all! The website seems to spend a huge amount of time telling us just how costly everything they do is but don't let that fool you!  LiV is priced to move at US$38 for a 750ml bottle. The strange thing is that LiV obviously stands for "Long Island Vodka" but it's called "LiV Vodka."  I don't like repeating myself. LiV Vodka

August 2 is National Mustard Day.  Strange, no one sent me a card. In a marketing stroke of genius, Kraft has jumped on the cocktail bandwagon and come out with cocktails that take a dab of mustard, like the "Grapefruit-ade:"  A glass of grapefruit juice with a splash of sparkling rose wine and a dab of mustard (Grey Poupon, please).  Okay, that's barely an alcoholic cocktail.  So, how about taking some tequila, beer, and tomato juice, then mixing it with a spoon of gourmet mustard.  Shake well then squeeze a bit of lime juice and garnish with a pickle spear.  You've just made a Tequila Maria! Oh the drinks of mustard you'll make!  Check out more recipes at Grey Poupon's site. Mustard Cocktails

Last year's Absolut New Orleans was an interesting concoction of flavors.  This year, Absolut has announced their latest city-based drink, Absolut Los Angeles. Rather than New Orleans' taste of Mango and Pepper, Absolut Los Angeles is blueberry, acai berry, acerola cherry and pomegranate, none of which remind me of Los Angeles. Okay, okay.  Los Angeles tastes like hookers and weed to me, but even so, I don't know anyone that says the mix of fruits in this one remind them of LA.  You should see the stuff in bars and clubs starting this week. Absolut Los Angeles

Are you training to be a bartender or just want to look like one?  MySpeedRail.com is the place for you! Somehow, they were able to do a 500 word press release that helps you garner practically NO INFORMATION WHATSOVER!  Except to tell you that you can't use it. The site will have a "variety of dynamic web 2.0 tools geared toward the professional bartender."  What are those tools?  I do not know.  Sounds like the perfect Web 2.0 business plan!  I'm sure it'll be wildly popular. It's in beta release right now so you'll need an activation code to get in.  If you have one, send it to me and I'll go Woodward & Bernstein on their asses and let the world know what it's about. MySpeedRail.com

If you're in the U.S., you may want to wait for the exchange rate to get a bit better before buying this bottle of Cognac.  This bottle of Henri IV Dudognon Heritage has been aged for 100 years but sells for 1,000,000 Pounds Sterling.  In today's exchange rate that's US$1,998,700.84.  I hope you're an oil investor. The bottle itself is dipped in 24 K Yellow Gold & Sterling Platinum and decorated with 6,500 certified brilliant cut diamonds. With an approximate weight of 8 Kilograms, it is filled with 100 cl. of Dudognon Heritage Cognac Grande Champagne, aged in barrels for more than 100 years to produce an alcohol content of 41%. If the bottle is too rich for your blood, they've also come out with versions that are pared back a bit. There's one without diamonds that's selling for US$269,776.55 and one that's selling for US$169,888.36. For the masses, there's 100 bottles out there selling for US$17,988.30, but they laugh at you as you walk out of...

He's a whole lot of man and always fun to watch.

I have no idea why no one has come out with this earlier. Maybe it's because it's so damned easy to make your own cucumber-infused vodka. Here's how: Buy vodka Buy cucumbers Cut cucumbers up and remove seeds Put in vodka Wait 24 hours Cucumber Vodka!! Well, Square One caught on to the fact that this is probably the #1 home-made infusion out there and decided to come out with their own and I, for one, welcome our new cucumber vodka overlords. In keeping with Square One tradition, the vodka is organic, and made from rye. Honestly, you won't find a better flavor to make with your gimlets. The crisp, clean taste makes for the perfect summer cocktail without getting too heavy or feeling like you're drinking a bottle of gasoline. I haven't had it yet, but I'm looking forward to someone sending me a free bottle of the stuff. Whoever you are. I love you already. I promise, I'll put it next to my Hendricks. Square One Organic Cucumber Vodka

So, Alder over at Vinography is probably the best blogger you'll read that's focused on wine.  Alder not only works on Vinography but also works for an e-commerce/web site development company.  You might see where this is going. There are a few cellar tracking points out there and I've pointed them out before.  Logabottle and Bottlenotes comes to mind and CellarTracker , with the latter being terribly user unfriendly.  Alder set out to solve this problem with VinCellar. It's easier to quote Alder here: The main purpose of this application is, of course, helping you do stuff with (or to) your wine collection -- from figuring out what you've got, where it is, how much it's worth, what you've bought, and what you want to drink, to what you probably should drink, what you should sell, and what you might not know about your wine consuming habits because you've never looked at the trends before. Pique your interest?  Well, you can also rate your own wi...

My favorite part of Tom & Jerry and Roadrunner cartoons are the Rube Goldberg machines.  Tom or Wile E. Coyote would setup these elaborate machines that Jerry and Roadrunner would sit and watch as the entire process went off.  It was brilliant.  Of course, I would have decked Jerry while he was watching the Rube Goldberg machine.  Little puke. Oh, I forgot.  This one makes cocktails.

Good to see that Kanye rocks out with great music and doesn't take himself too seriously. 

Absinthe's new role as this year's vodka rolls on.  The crew behind Lovejoy Vodka and 12 Bridges Gin in Portland (you see the theme?) are sending off their latest addition to the spirits world, Trillium Absinthe.  These guys have done a lights out job with their vodka and gin and I have no shortage of expectation for this absinthe, along the same lines as the stellar St. George.  It's small batch, all-natural (so they're earning their green glow).  Hopefully it does well with the bars because buying liquor in Portland is a pain in the ass. Pernod Ricard is launching their absinthe that they sold back in the 1800's and stopped making in 1915.  They're reviving the recipe and pushing it out to a happy, happy world.  Trillium Absinthe - No pricing announced Pernod Absinthe - US$75 for 750ml

Oh the silence has been terrible for you, I'm sure.  I am back from cocktail adventures in Portland at the wildly famous Teardop Lounge and many others and I'm just glad to be here.  Does this mean lots more posts to awaken you from your drunken summertime stupor?  Probably not, but I know if I don't say anything you'll just move on to your favorite blog about knitting. Also, the new draft version of Blogger rocks.

Beer 4 Chicks is a website that's not for the blonde bombshell in the beer commercial who gets on a strip pole at the mere mention of her favorite brand of beer.  No.  If that's you, stay away from this site.  Please, spend more time on my site. Christina Perozzi, who is hot enough to be in a beer commercial, is a beer expert and is doing for beer what Courtney Cochrane is doing for wine.  She takes on the dumb myths, plans cool parties, and informs women that it's okay to be a beer drinker and not have to take your top off at Lake Havasu Spring Break. The site has plenty of good info for everyone but is the beginning of a beer drinking community for women.  If you go to the site, look me up, my screen name is cougarhunter69. Beer 4 Chicks